Who Do You Think You Are?
Recently, I wrote you a love note about how to stop letting what other people think of you hold you back from what you really, truly want in your life. I wrote it in service to everything you wish you could say, everything you’ve always wanted to do, and your brilliant, Fabulous Babe light that’s just waiting to shine. (To read the entire love note, click here.)
And the response was incredible. I received so many messages from women who could relate to that all-too-familiar fear of our haters (real and imagined). It’s heartbreaking how many of us feel held back, not because we don’t have the ability or desire to go after our dreams, but because we’re worried that someone’s going to talk shit about us (or at least think it).
But that’s only half the story, isn’t it? Sometimes we’re not just worried about people thinking we’re not enough; we’re also worried people are going to think we’re too much.
- “Who does she think she is, doing that?”
- “Must be nice…having what she has.”
- “She thinks she’s really something, doesn’t she?”
- “I bet she thinks she’s too good for us.”
Sound familiar (even if just from your own head)? I’ll bet it does. Many of us actually find it scarier to be labeled as “too much” of something than it is to be labeled “not enough”. We fear other people’s jealousy, and we don’t know how to respond to those who call us “lucky” or tell us it “must be nice” to be who we are and have what we have. So we shrink and quiet ourselves to a more “acceptable” volume, and our dreams continue to wait for us.
Except, as we established last week, you weren’t meant to shrink, Babe; you were meant to shine! So, I’m sharing with you three ways to handle reactions like these (whether someone says them to your face or you just worry they will) like a true Fabulous Babe.
#1 – Meet Passion with Compassion
When someone gets all worked up over what you’re doing in your own life, it’s not about you, Babe. Honest to God. It has everything to do with what they’re going through.
Most of the people who judge us for going big are coming from a wounded place. They already feel defensive, and I can guarantee you’re not the only person they’re talking about.
Often deep inside (truly, they usually aren’t even aware of this), they’re upset with themselves for not living their dreams, so seeing you live yours triggers some uncomfortable feelings. They need to make you smaller somehow so they can feel more at ease.
Other people may have deeply ingrained beliefs about what a woman “should” or “shouldn’t” be or do. They’ve set their own conscious or unconscious limits on how successful, powerful, sexy, wealthy, or direct a woman is allowed to be, and when you blow the roof off these limits, it triggers them big time.
Others may care about you, and are just trying to keep you safe, in their own roundabout way.
The thing is, are you going to dim your own light, give up on your dreams just to make someone else feel more comfortable with their own issues?
So instead of being afraid of what they say about your going big, flex your compassion muscle. Remind yourself that they’re probably coming from their own place of hurt or worry, that they’re just defending themselves, and allow yourself to feel compassion toward them. You’re not fixing anything for them, but letting yourself feel compassion for them takes the edge off your fear big time, and allows you to keep doing the fabulous things you’re doing.
#2 – Agree with them
This one is simple. If you’re afraid someone will ask, “Who do you think you are, doing that?”, ask yourself the same question and respond like a Fabulous Babe: “I think I’m really, really worth it; that’s who I think I am.” Or, “I think I’m capable of anything I set my mind to; that’s who I think I am.” And then go do what it is you want to do.
If someone says to you, “Must be nice to (make your own schedule/have a nanny/bring in six figures/you fill in the blank), all you have to do is smile sincerely and say, “Yeah. It is.”
Meet sarcasm and judgment with the gosh darn honest truth. It is fabulous to be you.
#3 – Let yourself be an inspiration
This is the exact same concept as I talked about last week. Even if someone judges you for going big or being “too much”, take heart and be confident knowing that you may be doing that person the biggest favor ever.
Because they may have a lot to say about what you’re doing now, but they’re also witnessing you going out there and ruling your life like a badass Babe. Remember, a lot of people who judge your fabulousness are disappointed that they aren’t being fully themselves or going after their own dreams. Your doing so, boldly, starts to give them permission to do so. That person very well may come to a place of, “Huh? I didn’t think it was possible to do that, but look at her go! Maybe I can do it after all.”
Your fabulousness is a gift, Babe.
To your fabulous life,
P.S. If any of this resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. Comment below, or better yet, join us in our private Facebook group of Fabulous Babes, Platform B, to share with us and connect with other Babes just like you.